What information should your spouse know?

Have a twenty-minute handoff conversation #

Start with “If I were unavailable for a week, what would be hard to find?” Each person should answer; the less visible work often runs in both directions.

• Name the three tasks only you currently know how to do.
• Show where your contact list and document index are stored.
• Choose a backup person you both trust.
• Agree which information is shared now and which needs a more restricted access process.

Explain how the bills actually get paid #

For each recurring payment, note the provider, due date, usual payment method, statement location and customer-support route. Include irregular expenses such as annual renewals. Do not assume someone should use your credentials or that knowing an account exists gives them permission to transact.

• Housing, utilities and communications.
• Insurance premiums and where policy records are stored.
• Loans, credit cards and recurring household services.
• Payroll or benefits contact and the institutions where household funds are held.

Leave the instructions that documents do not contain #

Write the practical details your partner would otherwise have to reconstruct. A short, specific note is more useful than a folder full of unexplained files.

• School pickup and dependent-care arrangements, including a backup contact.
• Pet care, veterinarian and medication-instruction locations.
• Home maintenance providers and where operating instructions live.
• Upcoming deadlines or commitments that cannot wait for your return.
• Where existing legal and health-planning records are kept and who can explain them.

Source: National Institute on Aging: Getting your affairs in order

Try a small rehearsal #

Ask your spouse to find one insurance contact, one bill and the home instructions without prompting. Then swap roles. Keep a “still unclear” list and resolve one item at a time. Recheck the handoff after a change of bank, phone, home or caregiver.